[LISTS] Things I Thought While Watching The Marina Abramovíc Documentary + More

It’s 9:30. I’m home alone, except for the dogs. Good thing they can’t judge me. I have writer’s block. My boyfriend is next door shooting a lookbook with lots of American Flags and drinking Bourbon with our slightly misogynist neighbor who I used to be friends with but don’t speak to anymore (which can get awfully awkward when you live in the same building). I wonder if having a drink would unlock this creative stalemate I’ve been at for a few weeks. To no avail, I keep repeating that tough love Chuck Close quote in my head, “Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work.” Almost immediately after vowing to eat clean and to abstain from any alcohol until my brother’s wedding (which is now less than two days away), I caved. The culprit? A shot of vodka (poured over ice and sipped politely, because I’m a lady) and the Reese’s Peanut Butter cups in the freezer ,which I gulped down like a baleen whale. All hail Jane, the reigning queen of will power.

Prompted by my desire to remain firmly on the couch while simultaneously consuming intelligent media that makes no mention of the racial implications of Miley Cyrus’ provocative display of “average suburban white girl acting out what she perceives as her ‘authentic self’ in what would have been more suitable for a winning spring break wet t-shirt contest performance,” I looked to the documentary section Netflix, more specifically, to The Artist Is Present, the entrancing film following self-described “Grandmother of Performance Art,” Marina Abramovíc, as she prepares for her 2010 MoMa retrospective. Now in her mid-sixties, the film’s seductive subject has been pioneering the field of performance art for more than four decades, but until recently, hadn’t penetrated the mainstream audience, due to the abrasive, somewhat controversial nature of her work, and the overall ignorance/disinterest/squeamishness of the general population. After years of being dismissed as bonkers cray cray (“Why does she do these things to herself?”- some Palisades lady wearing Tory Birch loafers), hip new fans like Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, and James Franco are taking notice, promoting her kickstarter with nude video homages, casting her in , and evening handing her complete creative control over biopics.

The Serbian-born boundary-pusher with a fetish for long baths and ornate Givenchy dresses has come a long way from the days of traveling the world in a van. A product of her strict and unaffectionate upbringing, she is best known for her transgressive and often self-harming performance pieces which explore power dynamics, gender politics and the innate need for human validation. From fasting, to breathing back and forth into her former longtime lover’s mouth until they both passed out from carbon monoxide poisoning, to whipping, public nudity, and multiple forms of self-flagellation, Abramovíc has done her share of suffering for art’s sake. (Though suffering is probably too limiting a word, as there are a multitude of therapeutic benefits to sorting through traumatic issues with art, although some people may struggle to see this as art, but, as we know, some people are dumb).

Always the feminist intellectual, here are some things I thought about while watching the Marina Abramovíc documentary, including, but not limited to, hummus:

 

1) Writing is such a safe and sheltered form of self-expression. I need to push myself. Maybe I should carve this into my upper-thigh to sacrifice more for my art?

2) That one time my friend Katya and I engraved the letters F-A-T into our flesh was kind of like a piece Marina would perform, right? (Except ours didn’t leave a scar in the shape of the communist star and we didn’t sprawl on a cross made of ice afterward).

3)  I wonder if Marina has an Instagram? I feel like a Marina #selfie would really ruin it for me.

4) Okay, but she’s really hot, right?

5) Pretty sure this guy Klaus (her ex-husband) is real gay.

6) I wonder who would play her in a movie? Probably Catherine Keener. My thing for women over 40 is really getting serious.

7) I have contributed nothing to this world. I’m a fraud.

8) That’s seems a little extreme.

9) If you don’t eat for 12 days, do you still have to poop? I don’t know if I could poop in front of people.

10) Marina fasted for something like 18 days and I can barely get through this film without checking Instagram. How am I ever going to make anything of value when I lack persistence and patience and discipline. Hmm… I wonder what I should put in this smoothie?

11) Are her tits real? That is such a shallow, un-feminist thing to even be thinking right now. But are they?

12) Artists are really just narcissists who get creative about how to get rich and avoid offices. Has anyone ever said that before? I should write it down.

13) I wonder if Marina has ever slept with women? She must have…

14) I am nothing. We are all nothing. What is the point?

15) I hate staring contests.

16) I’m never shaving again.

17) DON’T DO THE COLLAB WITH DAVID BLAINE!!!!

18) THANK GOD SHE DIDN’T DO THE COLLAB WITH DAVID BLAINE!!!

19) I feel kind of bad for David Blaine. Nobody takes “magicians” seriously.

20) Maybe I should do a Kickstarter?

21) OMG that episode of Sex And The City TOTALLY makes sense to me now. (Why can I never remember if it’s Sex And or Sex In? I wonder if that’s some kind of learning disability. Must remember to google).

22) Go away, James Franco, you’re such a fucking overachiever.

23) I should apply to become her intern.

24) Maybe I shouldn’t get married. Marina doesn’t believe in getting married. But maybe she’s only saying that because she’s had several failed marriages.

25) Hummus.

Trailer – Marina Abramovic The Artist is Present from Show of Force on Vimeo.

 

Marina Abramovíc recently reached her Kickstarter goal to fund her institute dedicated to the preservation and presentation of long durational work. If you’re toying with the idea of quitting the Internet and martyring yourself for art, check it out here.