[LISTS] The 5 Best Compliments My Vagina Has Ever Gotten

In this humble piece of work by Larry Hardin (excerpted above), recently published in a lusty erotic novel I dusted off at a yard sale, I mean Thought Catalog, the self-descibed guy with a whole bunch of dick thoughts, listed for us, in far too much detail, the five best compliments his very cocky cock has ever gotten. First, I want to say that his dick sounds like my actual worst nightmare, 11 inches of absolute terror, and that the part about it being meaty like a snake is truly frightening and reminiscent of a sci-fi flick in which the Australian guy’s bulging member turns into a rattler and finally, after terrorizing a string of horny victims, gets hacked off by a machete-wielding heroine played by the theatrical Tara Reid of SHARKNADO fame. Anyhow, Larry, thanks for triggering my competitive side. Here are a few of the best compliments my vagina has ever gotten, in list form, inspired by Jezebel.

1) “Despite your concerns, the test shows you are STD-free.” – Gyno

2) “You have an abnormally healthy vagina.” – Gyno

3) “Not Pregnant.” – Pregnancy piss test stick

4) “You really dodged a bullet this time.” – Pregnancy piss test stick (okay, it didn’t actually say that, but it implied it with its judgmental stare)

5) “Oooh, looks like someone trimmed their sideburns! ” – My very appreciative boyfriend