[PRETTY PICTURES] ‘4Real’ by Justin Ridler X Mark Vassallo for Oyster

Everyone knows Cultist is the unstable home to the best sex + music + questionable feminist confessional content, and Oyster has the best fashion editorials. Out here on the Internet, there is a lot of misinformation, much of it surrounding Khloe and Lamar Odom’s relationship and the effectiveness of condoms (when used properly), but some things are just facts. My friend Jayne of STOP IT RIGHT NOW once called me a mag pie. I didn’t get the reference, and then she explained it meant that I like sparkly things. She’s right. I also have a tattoo of a humpback whale and believe in freeing Tilikum. Anywho, this editorial shot by Justin Ridler and fashion directed by Mark Vassallo (whose favorite number is 8) features many of our favorite elements: sequined Orca Whales, androgyny, high-contrast black and whites, texture you want to rub up on inappropriately like that scene in Get Him To The Greek with Jonah Hill, Russell Brand and Diddy, and sculptural garments that feel a little like wild animals about to come to life and constrict you like an Anaconda, so basically imagine taking mushrooms on Safari, or actually, if you’ve ever been, the only hallucinogenic you need is the anti-Malaria medication the doctors prescribe you. (This is not a joke, you will see pink baby elephants in your treehouse at night).

But seriously, the bold editorial traverses many stylistic terrains in wildly impractical footwear, from sporty to exotic, and contrasts its clean, architectural lines with head-trippy double and triple exposures, playful bird-flipping and collaged limbs to create a fucked up and photocopied effect without detracting from its glossy aesthetic. ‘4Real’ is not exact literal, and that’s what we find so pleasing about it. That and that 3D leopard bustier and reverse headdress outfit. For the full editorial, visit oystermag.com