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OnlineAlison

[CONFESSAY] My First Ever Tinder Date Took Me To Skid Row

by OnlineAlison on Jul 16, 2014 • 3 Comments

Listen, I’m pretty much the definition of low-maintenance. My last boyfriend considered romance to be dining in at McDonalds. I’ve been taken on a date to the 99 Cents Store, and even had a boy make a quick stop at a Coin Star so he could convert pennies to dollars to pay for our pizza...

Words

[TRUE STORY] The First Time I Took Honesty Too Far And Humiliated My Mom

by OnlineAlison on Mar 11, 2014 • 1 Comment

Lying was one of my finest skills as a child. Once, during Black History Month, I proudly proclaimed to my first grade class that my Aunt Karen was married to a black man. I am part of an interracial family! I shouted, all blonde hair and no teeth. This was news to my Uncle, however,...

Sex and Relationships

[BANG BANG] The Hookup Generation: Or How One Flaccid Penis Led Me to Re-Examine My Entire Self-Esteem

by OnlineAlison on Feb 14, 2014 • 5 Comments

I am part of the hookup generation. We don’t date, we have flings. We don’t talk on the phone, we text. We have sex on the first date, and sometimes never talk again, only to awkwardly bump into one another at a party a few weeks later and pretend everything is fine (I thought we...

Sex and Relationships

[TINDER TALES] How I Fell Hard For Tinder

by OnlineAlison on Nov 5, 2013 • 9 Comments

I have been on Tinder for 3 weeks. I have been turned down 0 times (because I am a babe, you dingus!) I have matched with 129 people. I am currently messaging with 71 of them. I have been texting with 3. I actually think I have a crush on 1. I should start by saying...