![[CONFESSAY] My First Ever Tinder Date Took Me To Skid Row](/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/tinderpic-290x290.jpeg "[CONFESSAY] My First Ever Tinder Date Took Me To Skid Row")
[CONFESSAY] My First Ever Tinder Date Took Me To Skid Row
Listen, I’m pretty much the definition of low-maintenance. My last boyfriend considered romance to be dining in at McDonalds. I’ve been taken on a date to the 99 Cents Store, and even had a boy make a quick stop at a Coin Star so he could convert pennies to dollars to pay for our pizza...
![[BRA BURNING] Apple Rejects Female Masturbation App](/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Screen-Shot-2014-05-19-at-3.50.02-pm-290x290.jpg "[BRA BURNING] Apple Rejects Female Masturbation App")
[BRA BURNING] Apple Rejects Female Masturbation App
I know it’s Monday and y’all are barely 3 sips into your morning coffee (unless you attended Yasi’s bday at Cha Cha last night, in which case you’re still deep in a whiskey and taco truck slumber), but it’s time to wake up and talk about Vagina. It’s recently been brought to my attention that...
![[CONFESSAY] Please Stop Telling Me To Make A Kid](/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/screen-shot-2014-01-15-at-8-13-54-pm-290x290.png "[CONFESSAY] Please Stop Telling Me To Make A Kid")
[CONFESSAY] Please Stop Telling Me To Make A Kid
The other day, I was sitting at my office, about to step into an important meeting with a few powerful female superiors, some of whom are German and impeccably dressed in neoprene two-piece-suits and come to an intimidating six feet two inches tall in Louboutin heels, when I received a text from a friend of...
![[CONFESSAY] My Relationship Is Giving Me Writer's Block](/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/simone-y-sarte-290x290.jpg "[CONFESSAY] My Relationship Is Giving Me Writer's Block")
[CONFESSAY] My Relationship Is Giving Me Writer’s Block
Sometimes I think we’re just a generation of self-proclaimed Carrie Bradshaw wanna-bes: writing publicly about our sex lives and relationships because not only does it help us create a network of support, (which, if only for a day or two in a comment thread, normalizes our issues) but kicks away any shame we may still...
![[BUY SHIT] Slutever Vag T-Shirt](/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/slutever-vaj-t-shirt-group1-290x290.jpg "[BUY SHIT] Slutever Vag T-Shirt")
[BUY SHIT] Slutever Vag T-Shirt
There’s a new head vagina in town (haha, head vagina, get it?), and her name is Slutever. You guys are probably old butties from VICE, or maybe you’ve been following her provocative and insightful Breathless column for Vogue. However you knew her before, maybe you met at a Forever 21 in a suburban mall and bonded...
![[BANG BANG] The Hookup Generation: Or How One Flaccid Penis Led Me to Re-Examine My Entire Self-Esteem](/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/viagra1-290x281.png "[BANG BANG] The Hookup Generation: Or How One Flaccid Penis Led Me to Re-Examine My Entire Self-Esteem")
[BANG BANG] The Hookup Generation: Or How One Flaccid Penis Led Me to Re-Examine My Entire Self-Esteem
I am part of the hookup generation. We don’t date, we have flings. We don’t talk on the phone, we text. We have sex on the first date, and sometimes never talk again, only to awkwardly bump into one another at a party a few weeks later and pretend everything is fine (I thought we...
![[TRUE STORY] Not All Bi People Are In Open Relationships](/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/develisch-Threesome-290x290.jpg "[TRUE STORY] Not All Bi People Are In Open Relationships")
[TRUE STORY] Not All Bi People Are In Open Relationships
It’s been said that being bisexual doubles your chances of getting a date on a Friday night. To be honest, I’ve never really dated. I’m more of a “That was fun. Now tell me where you live so I can stay there forever and ever; don’t worry, I’ll pitch in for rent, ” kind of girl. I...
![[TRUE STORY] I Lost My Virginity To A Juggalo*](/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/80564510-290x290.gif "[TRUE STORY] I Lost My Virginity To A Juggalo*")
[TRUE STORY] I Lost My Virginity To A Juggalo*
*Okay so he wasn’t a full Juggalo, no face paint or Faygo, but he was definitely an ICP super fan. Here’s the story I will probably never tell my daughter: By today’s standards, I lost my virginity late. I grew up in Torrance where we started drinking beers in the alley behind school at twelve...
![[BRA BURNING] Reaching For The Pie: Embracing Your Domestic Side](/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/women-holding-pie-290x290.jpg "[BRA BURNING] Reaching For The Pie: Embracing Your Domestic Side")
[BRA BURNING] Reaching For The Pie: Embracing Your Domestic Side
When I first received my Paperless Post invitation to attend an event categorized as a “Gathering Of Pies,” my armpit hair immediately grew 1/4 of an inch and I rushed to dig my picket sign out of retirement. According to the invite, I’d been chosen, along with a handful of other “great” women, to congregate...
![[TRUE STORY] Say What You Mean, and Other Seemingly Obvious Lessons Tinder Taught Me](/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/online-dating-290x290.jpg "[TRUE STORY] Say What You Mean, and Other Seemingly Obvious Lessons Tinder Taught Me")
[TRUE STORY] Say What You Mean, and Other Seemingly Obvious Lessons Tinder Taught Me
Every now and again, something happens (not a concussion) to make me think it’d be fun to be single. This something generally has nothing to do with private parts. Most recently, it’s Tinder, the dating app that all my hilarious and intelligent female friends (both IRL and IBF) are raving about. In one of her...
![[TINDER TALES] How I Fell Hard For Tinder](/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/tinder-3-290x290.png "[TINDER TALES] How I Fell Hard For Tinder")
[TINDER TALES] How I Fell Hard For Tinder
I have been on Tinder for 3 weeks. I have been turned down 0 times (because I am a babe, you dingus!) I have matched with 129 people. I am currently messaging with 71 of them. I have been texting with 3. I actually think I have a crush on 1. I should start by saying...
![[TRUE STORY] Haunted By Hello Kitty, And Other Moving Moments](/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/FOR-SALE-HAUNTED-HOUSE-300x232-290x232.jpg "[TRUE STORY] Haunted By Hello Kitty, And Other Moving Moments")
[TRUE STORY] Haunted By Hello Kitty, And Other Moving Moments
*This article was originally published in a slightly different form a year ago here. It’s since been edited, updated, and republished in the spirit of Halloween. As a woman with a regularly maintained pixie-coif, it’s never fun finding long, curly hairs clogging the drain of a moldy bathtub. When you share a home with someone,...
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